Ashlea B

📍 BRANXTON, NSW

Tell us about you as a mum right now - what does this season of motherhood look like for you?

This current season of motherhood looks like me juggling an active 5 & 3 year old, dealing with a traumatic leg injury and living on one wage while trying to build up my small business all at the same time while trying to get through my mornings while my coffee is still hot (am I right?!)

What were you doing before motherhood?

I was a primary school teacher who had purchased her first home, rented it out and purchased a larger home with intentions of it being the home that I would one day start a family in. I had travelled to 7 different countries before motherhood, enjoyed endless amounts of cocktails and danced on countless sticky dance floors which coincidentally is where I met my husband and father of my two beautiful children.

How did you come into motherhood?

I came into motherhood two years after marrying my husband (just 8 days shy of our wedding anniversary date). We both knew that we were ready and very much wanted to fill our house with even more love. In 2020 we welcomed our little boy and then in 2023 our little girl.

What is something you're currently navigating as a mum?

Currently I'm navigating a traumatic leg injury - a freak accident that happened overseas on my family holiday 12 months ago. I was ripped apart from my children as I had to be flown by air ambulance 4 hours away from where we were staying. I couldn't hug, kiss or see my babies in person for 4 weeks until I could fly back home to Australia. I've had 9 surgeries on my leg and will be undergoing my 10th next week (and counting). Life hasn't been the same since this happened, I've had to learn how to walk again and still navigate life with two active young children who crave my attention, who need their mother to tuck them in and read them a bedtime story, to pack their school lunches, to drop them off at school and daycare. It's been so hard to show up for them when I've been trying to hold back the exhaustion and pain that I suffer through each day, not wanting to burden them with it. I wish someone warned me that this wasn't in the parenting handbook...

What has been bringing you joy lately?

My boy started Kindergarten this year and it has been an absolute joy to watching him grow socially, academically and shine. Particularly when he's on stage performing with his school choir! During my leg recovery it's been my goal to not miss a school event of his, to show him that I will always be there to cheer him on and be his biggest supporter, even if it meant that I had to roll in a wheel chair or walk in with a walking stick. I've still shown up for him no matter what. It's so worth it when I see his face light up when he spots me in the audience at an assembly.

Was there a moment that really shaped your experience as a mum?

For me it was absolutely the birth. From loving your child even before meeting them, having the connection with them before touching them, and to then give birth to them and feel them for the first time is something so darn special. I wholeheartedly believe that when you birth your child you are reborn as a parent. Emotionally a whole new identity is formed as your priorities, worldview, and daily life transform in that moment to nurture your newborn.

What’s something that’s felt harder than you expected?

Navigating sleep cycles and routines. Being a school teacher and having a Type A personality, naturally I was very organised, well-planned and well, a perfectionist. This all went out the window while navigating those early days, months, years... still trying to navigate through it to be honest. I needed to let go of my own high expectations the most. I was the person who purchased all the sleep books, guides, apps. You name it, I had it. But honestly, it comes down to trusting yourself, riding the waves of those ups and downs that your babies have (sleep regression, teething etc.). Because one day I'll look back and all of that will be a blur.

What’s something you’ve learned recently that’s helped you?

I've learnt that life is too darn precious to waste and that it is OK to ask for help. I've had to learn to ask for help more times than I wish I needed to because I physically couldn't do anything for myself for a solid 6 months, let alone do anything for my kids. Your community will always be in your corner when needed so you need to embrace the help rather than push it away.

How has motherhood changed you?

Motherhood has changed me in a way that I have found a whole new resilience. I've learned that I can function on shockingly little sleep, handle bodily fluids without blinking (because my husband absolutely cannot), and advocate for my children like an absolute lioness. I'm tougher than I used to be before motherhood.

What’s something people don’t always see about your life as a mum?

Behind the milestone photos on social media, the school drop-offs and the endless loads of laundry, there is an entire world of silent emotion and hidden shifts that the rest of the world rarely notices. I like to think of it as, if people could see a "behind-the-scenes" reel of my life, here is what they would likely miss: the invisible mental tabs open 24/7 - my brain is constantly tracking appointments, school events, when homework is due, financial budgeting, planning content for my business, presents for birthday parties. It is exhausting, and it truely never turns off.

What would you say to another mum who might be feeling the same way you have?

If I could sit down with another mum who is deep in that heavy, invisible space right now, I would make her a hot cup of coffee and assure her that she is not failing. When we feel overwhelmed our brain will try to convince us that we are not strong enough, organised enough or patient enough. That is a lie. The truth is that motherhood is a beautiful, chaotic, full-time job. Feeling exhausted or stretched to your limit doesn't mean that you're a bad mum; it just means that you're a human being.

Is there someone who has supported you in this season of motherhood that you’d love to give a little shoutout to?

My own mother. There's something so incredibly profound about becoming a mother yourself and suddenly seeing your own mother through a whole new lens. I realised that all the invisible things she did for me. I realised how much she loved me, how tired she must have been, and how much grace she gave me without me ever knowing it. Having her in my corner for this season is an absolute gift.