Ashlee F

📍 Gregory Hills

Tell us about you as a mum right now — what does this season of motherhood look like for you?

Right now, motherhood for me feels like a season of learning to slow down and be present in the little moments. My daughter Audrey is growing and changing so quickly, and I'm constantly reminding myself to soak it all in. It's busy, messy, beautiful and sometimes overwhelming, but I'm learning that I don't have to have it all figured out. I'm just trying to be the best mum I can be while also finding my own identity again.

What were you doing before motherhood?

Before motherhood, I worked in customer service in the Rehabilitation industry for several years, I taught Pilates on the side and I've also been a horse groom for a dressage stable for over 15 years. I was doing a lot!

How did you come into motherhood?: I came into motherhood after a journey that wasn't always straightforward. I had my own health challenges and a lot of uncertainty along the way. There was quite some time during the worst of my illness where we were told children may not be possible in our future so becoming a mum naturally is something I feel incredibly grateful for.

What is something you're currently navigating as a mum?

I'm currently navigating the balance between being completely present for my daughter and still trying to figure out who I am outside of motherhood. I'm also learning how to manage the constant mental load that comes with being a mum: the routines, the decisions, the worry and always thinking one step ahead. At the same time, I am studying and thinking about a future career, so this season is really about finding a balance between caring for my family and continuing to grow as an individual.

What has been bringing you joy lately?

The little things, Watching my little girl learn something new, seeing her personality come through, her smiles/giggles and watching her discover the world. In all those moments it's where I catch myself thinking "I can't believe I get to be your mum". Those moments are everything to me.

Was there a moment that really shaped your experience as a mum?

I think for me it was Audrey arriving early in the world and being taken to the NICU definitely shaped my experience of motherhood. Those first days in the NICU taught me just how quickly things can change and how much strength you can find when you have no choice but to keep going. It also made me realise that motherhood doesn't always look the way you imagined it would and that's ok. You can feel scared, overwhelmed and grateful all at the same time.

What’s something that’s felt harder than you expected?

The mental load and the feeling that you are never really "off". I expected the tiredness, but I don't think I understood how much of motherhood would be constantly thinking, planning, worrying and questioning whether you're doing enough. I've also found it hard to make space for myself without feeling guilty. It's easy to lose parts of yourself when you're so focused on caring for someone else.

What’s something you’ve learned recently that’s helped you?

I've learned that I don't need to be perfect to be a good mum. I can have difficult days, feel overwhelmed, need a break and still be a loving and present mother. I've also learned to trust myself more. There is so much advice and opinions when you become a mum, but ultimately, I know my daughter better than anyone. Learning to trust my instincts has been really empowering.

How has motherhood changed you?

Motherhood has made me softer and stronger at the same time. It has changed my priorities and given me a completely different perspective on what matters. I think I'm more patient, more compassionate and much more aware of how quickly life can change. It's also made me want to show Audrey that you can be a mum and still have dreams, ambitions and a sense of identity if your own.

What’s something people don’t always see about your life as a mum?

People don't always see the parts of motherhood that happen alongside living with a chronic illness and stoma. There are days when I'm dealing with fatigue, pain, appointments or the practical realities of managing my health condition, while still needing to put my daughter first and be her mum. I don't always have the luxury of switching off or resting when my body needs it, because there is still a little person who needs me. I think one of the biggest things people don't see is the strength it takes to navigate my own health while prioritising my daughter and making sure she has the happy, present mum she deserves.

What would you say to another mum who might be feeling the same way you have?

I'd tell her that whatever she is feeling, whatever she is going through, she is not alone! It's ok to feel grateful and exhausted, happy and overwhelmed all at the same time. Motherhood is not about getting it all right, it's about showing up, again and again with love. Be kind to yourself because you deserve the same compassion you would give to others.

Is there someone who has supported you in this season of motherhood that you’d love to give a little shoutout to?

I'd love to shout out my husband, for being on this wild ride as new parents and showing up for me and Audrey everyday and of course my own mum who has always shown me the best role model that I hope to live up to as a mum to my own daughter.