Xanthia Borg-Laidlaw
Tell us a bit about yourself…
My name is Xanthia, I’m 27 and a first-time mum to my tiny four-month-old daughter, Sadie, who is my greatest blessing. I share Sadie with my husband Jerome, who is an engineer, and we live in the south of Canberra.
What were you doing before motherhood?
Before Sadie, I was working in paediatric allied health and studying, in a role I truly loved within paediatric behaviour support. I had a lot more freedom and flexibility with my time — I could say yes to yoga, trips away, baking, swimming, and a full calendar of everyday joys without needing to plan everything around feeds and naps.
How did you become a mum?
Falling pregnant with Sadie was blissfully easy — first try, straight after our wedding — which left me feeling surprised, humbled, and deeply grateful.
Pregnancy itself became much more complex when Sadie was diagnosed in utero with Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH), a condition where the diaphragm doesn’t form properly, allowing abdominal organs to move into the chest and impact lung development.
Sadie was born at term and taken straight to NICU for surgery and recovery. We experienced a significant separation during this time, as parents can’t stay overnight in NICU. She spent three weeks there before we could move into the sleep-in rooms to focus on feeding and bonding.
Despite everything, my birth and connection with Sadie were uncomplicated and deeply positive. The Canberra Health Services team — doctors, nurses, allied health, and my incredible midwife — made it possible for me to hold and bond with my baby during such a hard start
What has your feeding journey been like?
Our feeding journey has been very different to the typical newborn experience. Initially, Sadie received all her nutrition via TPN (total parenteral nutrition) so her bowels wouldn’t have to work while she healed. After surgery, she transitioned to NG tube feeds of expressed breastmilk.
Once her breathing support allowed it, we began breastfeeding at around two weeks old. I had been pumping until then and worked closely with the NICU lactation consultant, Mary Ellen. Sadie took to breastfeeding beautifully.
She came home at three weeks and three days old still with an NG tube, which was removed shortly after with support from the NAPS team. Since then, I’ve exclusively breastfed her. At eight weeks, Sadie had a tongue tie released following some poor weight gain, and I now follow a dairy- and soy-free diet to support her allergies and growth, guided by a dietitian.
Breastfeeding Sadie brings us immense closeness and attachment, and I’m deeply grateful every day that I can nourish her this way
What has sleep been like in your house?
Sleep has actually been one of our strongest areas. As a newborn, Sadie was extremely tired due to her medical condition and slept very well. Initially, I had to wake her overnight to feed. For a brief period she slept through the night, and now she usually wakes once — sometimes twice — between 1am and 6am.
She is a great dream feeder and has a magical early evening sleep window from around 5:30–10:30pm, which has allowed us to enjoy date nights and even trips to Sydney for musicals. Daytime sleep is more variable, largely because our days look different depending on appointments and activities. I’m also grateful that other people in our life can settle her to sleep confidently
The hardest bits...
The hardest part was the separation during Sadie’s NICU stay. Having a term baby but not being able to have her with me 24/7 was incredibly distressing. Seeing friends from prenatal yoga at home with their babies while I walked into NICU each day was heartbreaking.
The hormone drop after birth intensified everything. There were moments of overwhelming grief — including one where my husband held me while I cried for hours, and I asked hospital staff if I could be sedated. Once Sadie stabilised and I recovered physically, everything else felt easier. After that, even hard nights felt manageable.
The best bits...
The connection I have with Sadie. That she lived. That I get to be her mum. Everything else fades compared to that.
How do you make time for yourself?
I’ve made time for myself by leaning into Sadie’s early evening sleep — seeing shows, going out for meals, and reconnecting with myself. During the day, I’m fortunate that Jerome works from home, which allows me to duck out between feeds when it works.
I remind myself that I’m in the thick of babyhood. Sadie needs me deeply right now, and I want to be present for that. I know one day she’ll need me less — so I’m soaking this season up.
What's next for you and your family?
More babies — maybe one, maybe five. A home birth. And finishing my studies.
If you could talk to your pre motherhood self, what advice would you give?
I would tell myself that I don’t need to do everything. My baby doesn’t need perfection — she just needs me calm, happy and supported.
